Jerry, you need to find god
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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