Kiss
Puke
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
