Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
