In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
