But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
