That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize