If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
