your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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