I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I love you. Go after that dick
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
