when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
