Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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