We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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