I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
