I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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