I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Alive.
So much puke
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
