the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
