you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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