it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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