Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
