I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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