Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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