all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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