I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
