Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
