Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
