we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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