if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
