I'm jealous of your bromance
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
