Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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