Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
