Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
