Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
