Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
