I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
