note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im holly from the hills drunk
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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