Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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