I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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