Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
