i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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