Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
