Don't make out with my wife yet
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
