I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize