every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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