I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
