I just made out with a guy for $7.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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