yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
