the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
