i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
