He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
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Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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