I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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