college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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