we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I will be naked everywhere
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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