My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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