Porn is love you can see.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
