you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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