Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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