forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
